Crazy Stupid Love #2

I just want to lay my body
I just want to let my self fall down
break down
with tears streaming down my face

God, punish me for having this feeling
God, punish me for even thinking of something painfully impossible for this reality
God, punish me so I will be relieved
God, punish me so I able to forget
God, punish me

I'm tired
I feel lost
I feel numb
I feel exhausted
I don't know what I feel anymore
Its like I'm suffocating

God, punish me for being crazy and stupid over this love

Crazy Stupid Love #1

You, You, Oh You

I don't now whats got into me

I don't know what makes me turn around crazy over you

again and again

I don't know whats happening with us

with you and with me

Why, Why, Oh Why

The voice you speak to me warm my heart

The words you say they soothe me

To know you haven't changed, calm my heart

Is it fair to ask you for my life in hereafter

Is it fair to be with you making more memories than what 

we already had

Is it even possible just to dream about you every night

Is it make sense to tell the world you are one part of my soul that missing

somewhere far away from me

I know this is crazy
I know this is stupid

But love is crazy and stupid. 

and

I miss you.

Medan, December 8th 2015

Theme song : Back to December

Officially Engaged (07-06-15)

Alhamdulillah. All praised to Allah.

I'm officially engaged to Mr. Fadly Syafni. My 5 months boyfriend. My partner in crime. My soulmate. My bestfriend. My co-worker.

I am beyond happy.

AUTISM

Today I went to National Autism Society of Malaysia (NASOM), it’s a non-profit, non-government organization that was formed to offer a life-long services to the people with autism. Autism is a complex neuro-behavioral disorder that includes impairments in social interaction and developmental language and communication skills. People with autism are difficult to understand what other people think and feel, they them selves loves to do repetitive behaviors. To read more and know more about Autism, click on this.

Me and few of my friends from UKM went there to get in touch with the autism kids, as our pediatric patients are mostly from those unlucky kids such as autism, down syndrome, even multiple disability kids. The main objective was to learn how to interact with them before we do the eye check up for them. There are a lot of trick and tips to manage them. Unfortunately, its very challenging and taking a lot of time. In one appointment, we probably only can take their Visual Acuity (VA), and their Mohindra/Retinoscopy finding. Its kind of impossible to finish all the clinical tests in one time appointment. For sure.

During my Pediatric Theory class, we are being thought that autism kids are not social-able, they don’t like to see new people around them, they wont change their routines. This wasn’t the first time I see autism kids. I came across so many autism kids, especially in Jeddah and Jakarta, but I have never done any close interactions with them. So this was my first one-to-one interaction with the autism kids, and I have to say, this is the time for us to break the stereotypes that written everywhere in books and journals about these autism kids. Get to know them first, and then make the judgment.

Surprisingly, they were so sweet, they were so cheerful, and adventurous. They really wanted to be near to us, they made an interaction first, even before me and my friends started to try to get close to them. It was way different than what the books always says about these kids. I swear. This experience almost bring me to tears. I met this one kid, named Yamin. He was the only kid that so attached to me, we were so close. He hugged me and kissed me many times, he didn’t let me go anywhere without him next to me. And there was this kid, named Choo. He was so cheerful, happy as a normal kid would be. He greeted us the first time we entered the school. He said “Hello all beautiful girls”, and all of us was laughing our ass off. Such a sweet boy. And the other kid, named Naim. He was the coolest kid on earth I guess, the way he act and speak are effortlessly cool but still friendly. Yes, friendly.

Besides all those happy-cheerful-friendly kids, I also tried to interact with some kids that have severe-autism. One girl named Sarah, 15 years old, she’s so beautiful, thick eyebrows, long eye lashes, beautiful smile, with a shiny hair. Unfortunately, she was in a bad mood so we couldn’t get to know her. The teacher said she loves to hit people around her if her mood is unstable. The other boy named Naveen he’s 18 years old, he was the most untouchable kid in the school, he’s very dependent, no eye contact at all.

After all, these kids was making my day much brighter. I changed my perspective towards these kids. They’re so humble, sweet, happy, and friendly if you know how to interact with them. 

Always Unique Totally Interesting Sometime Mysterious 

 really defines AUTISM :)

Me infront of NASOM

our activities.

The classes. Singing class, Spelling class, Art class, Cooking class

Me and YongPun and few of the kids.

Some of the quiet kids

The students arts

Yameen gave this to me <3 font="">

The yummy cornflakes cake made by the students

Me and my one-day boyfriend, Yameen <3 font="">

A video worth my 58 minutes 26 seconds.

Salam..

I really need to share this video I came across today. I hope its give you all a benefit by watching this video. InshaAllah..
Bismillahirrahman nirrahim..

Marriage in Islam. 

A kissing goodbye 2012

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"Ah, what a year!”

2012 almost pass me by. A lot of things (indeed) happened in this year. Happy moments around my family, my friends. And also what a year with a lot of sad memories.

This year, I had a lot of positive achievements. My studies went better than last year. I can say, I’m pretty proud of my self, cause I could keep up my good work. That’s the most important thing for me now. My studies. My future.

And at the same time, my relationship with all the people that I love is just smooth. We keep on loving each other. No drama no tears. Alhamdulillah.

As many people said that we have to move on and see the bright future in front of us, and forget the past. So, I will give you the warmest welcome dear 2013. Please be good, be kind. InshaAllah!

A Letter For My Sister

Salam.

These past 6 months, I've kept something inside my heart. About you, my sister. My deep apology for everything that I couldn't do for you.
Here's my sorry starts from...

I'm sorry, for being absent through this hard times. I'm sorry, I'm not there with you through Baba's lowest time.
I'm sorry, you have to let go your dreams for this time to take care of Baba.
I'm sorry, if sometime I over-excited over here, while you having a bad time over there.
I'm sorry, if I can't be there when you need to talk, when you feel lonely, when you lost everyone that was there for you.
I'm sorry, in your young age you have to work, earn your own money, to support your own life and help Mama.
I'm sorry, in your young age you can't enjoy your life to the fullest, as I did that time.
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

But
I promise you, I will work extra hard here, to make sure everything will goes smooth in a future.
I promise you, I'm gonna make all your dreams happen. Maybe not now, but later.
I promise you, I'm gonna make you feel the happiness you missed.
I promise you, a better life ahead of us. Insha Allah.

Thank you for being so supportive and patience during our family hard times.
Thank you for being mature even before your time.
Thank you for being an eldest sister even you're not.
Thank you for your time, your loyalty, and your big heart.

I always miss you and love you.
I promise you, a better life ahead of us. I promise.